Mother Nature is meaner than Regina George.


Pregnancy plays a few cruel jokes on us that are conveniently or perhaps kindly not mentioned to a mum-to-be by those much wiser. Bright eyed and bushy tailed a first time mama I was -and though by and large I had a pretty easy ride compared to some of my friends – being on the other side of fence now, I’m here to let you in on a few home truths.

I think its safe to say that most women will find themselves nodding in agreement to some if not of all of the following:

  1. The tiredness, oh the tiredness! For once, you actually WANT to clean your house and get things ready, and yet your lack of energy makes getting off the sofa without help a feat in itself. Fail.
  2. So much to remember; antenatal appointments, daily Pregnacare , vaccinations, what NOT to eat, packing a hospital bag, and of course the antenatal book!! Where has my photographic memory gone? I used to scoff at the notion of ‘Baby brain’ but it’s the real deal people!
  3. Butter fingers and blurry eyes. So I thought I was losing my mind when I kept dropping my keys and almost tripping over nothing but nope, my new found clumsiness and overdue trip to Specsavers was thanks to my little bun! Super! Not like I have an incredibly precious bump to be mindful of or anything!
  4. And then there’s the war between bladder and baby. Yes, baby wins. Everytime. And to make it worse, your capacity to hold anything more than a drop of water decreases whilst your thirst increases. Exponentially. Can I have some water please?
  5. You can sleep all you want. Except that you can’t, hello insomnia, how are you doing? I can’t find a comfortable position because everything aches and my puppy has stolen my pregnancy pillow. Great.

Exhibit A – Westie pillow thief.

I’m sure there’s plenty more my baby brain has either kindly blocked out or stupidly forgotten. Either way, back up is needed to combat the above!

Arm yourself with the following:

  1. Family. I cannot stress this enough. They kept me sane when I was going insane, happy when I was down and rode the rollercoaster with me in the front seat. Without a seatbelt. Thanks for reminding me to take my vitamins, NOT to eat the Camembert and to drink water, constantly.
  2. Friends – new and old. When your mum says “in my day…(insert annoying but probably 100% right statement to do with pregnancy/nursery/work/anything at all)” and it literally drives you mad, you can always rely on your friends. Thanks for putting up with me and my nesting lists! You know who you are!
  3. Your bad ass self – you can do this. Believe it, even at your lowest point. As the best midwives in the world (who obviously work at Broomfield Hospital) would say, “your body is designed to do this”. It is a different pace of course, but you can do this, slowly. And buy a notepad, it helps!

N.B. Bad news for friends and family – the above applies for post baby too!

Bernard, can I borrow your watch?


I used to love that show. Enjoyed many a time after school with some rich tea biscuits or a Calippo wishing I could stop time like Bernard did. But never have I wanted that watch so badly than I have done since becoming a mum! I used to wish for it the night before an exam, but that was just childsplay. This is serious now Bernard, hand me the watch or find me Harmony’s special 50p coin so I can rub the Queen’s nose and wish for more hours in the day!

With Sophia’s wake time increasing and Oscar’s patience decreasing, I am finding I have less and less time in the day to get anything done! This usually means laundry taking the whole week to complete, spontaneous cleaning of random corners of the house at any opportunity, and the to do list getting longer, sadly. This sadness is made worse by the certainty that the corner cleaned moments ago is probably messy again now I’m at the end of this sentence, thanks Osc. I’d think you were a devil dog if you weren’t so damn cute!

I used to wake up and make a mental list of the things I wanted to do in the day. Okay so I wouldn’t always get through all of it but I’d have a decent go. Now however, in SS time (Since Sophia), I’ve learnt not to even bother with a list or in the very least to make a realistic one! It’s still considered a list with just one item on it right? I exaggerate a little.

What I mean to say is, I’ve learnt the importance of managing expectations of myself so as not to be continually disappointed!

Motherhood comes with so many challenges, and learning not to create a bigger hurdle for myself to jump over has been my biggest one yet. It dawned on me when my husband causally said one evening ‘You do make things harder for yourself you know!’ in response to a meltdown of some kind. Although it did almost cause an eruption of volcanic proportion, after calming down, I soon saw that he was right. I was putting so much pressure on myself unnecessarily and it was on these days particularly that I didn’t enjoy it, I was overwhelmed!

So what now? Now, I try to celebrate the little victories at every opportunity (cue mental Carlton dance). And I do mean little.

I am winning when I manage to keep Sophia entertained in her cot long enough to squeeze in a morning shower. When I successfully do both Sophia and Oscars morning routine AND get breakfast for myself: Win. When I pilot a walk with both of them alone: Win. When I crochet more than one row in one sitting: Win. When I eat my dinner and it’s still hot: super WIN. You get the idea!

I felt silly at first but it works! It reminds me to not be so hard on myself and I can honestly say I am enjoying being a mum so much more because of it. Sophia is happier and more relaxed too. And so is Oscar for that matter! I read a blogpost some time ago on a similar theme and this stuck with me ‘Learn to accept that unfinished is ok, unfinished is enough’.

That post was right, it IS enough. Don’t dwell on the things you haven’t done on your list. Dwell on the things or half a thing that you have done. However big or small, it is a hard earned victory. And the sooner you realise it, you’ve won already.

So Bernard, it looks like I don’t need your watch after all, I’m doing just fine without.  Carlton agrees.


Lavinia who?

20 facts about me!

1. I like to bake and adore Mary Berry
2. I sing in the shower
3. I can spend hours watching YouTube videos on different ways to plait hair
4. I have recently discovered a love for crochet
5. I love anything duck egg blue
6. I indulge in American TV series marathons! It’s an addiction!
7. My husband is a better cook than me
8. I have a penchant for GBK milkshakes
9. I love peonies and the whimsy of baby’s breath
10. I am a self confessed dreamer – great at making lists, not so good at getting things done.
11. I hate tea and coffee – I’m a hazlenut hot chocolate kinda girl
12. Christina Aguilera – Back to Basics and Robin Thicke – The Evolution of’ are my favourite rainy day soundtracks
13. My dad buys all my sarees (and he’s bloody good at it too)
14. I got married in Florence, Tuscany, just because!
15. Nothing beats my mum’s mutton rolls
16. Good manners and politeness are essential to me – if you’re not nice to the waiter, well, you know the saying!
17. I am a little over sentimental – yes, I’m that girl who keeps cinema tickets, makes scrapbooks and takes a million photos!
18. Puppy cuddles are the best. Fact.
19. I get my inspiration for everything from my family and friends
20.The best thing I have ever done and achieved, and the hardest at that, is becoming a mum! (NB. much harder than medical school)