So now you’re on the other side. Your little cherub has arrived and it’s overwhelming to say the least. You’re back from the hospital, enjoying those cuddles and luscious newborn smell, when out of nowhere as you look down at those big eyes, it hits you. You are acutely aware that you know NOTHING and you, you alone are wholly responsible for this perfect eeny meeny tiny human. *sharp intake of breath*
And breathe. It’ll be ok.
You’ll get the hang of it. I promise. You’ll even get used to your little one spicing things up just as you get comfortable and in a routine. You know, just to keep you on your toes and make the sleep deprivation entertaining. So you won’t be surprised when I tell you I’m still learning, every day! And although I remember that moment of simultaneous joy and terror clear as day, I look back on it fondly. I did after all survive it. And so will you.
Here are a few things to look forward to that I’ve come across so far in motherhood.
- Baby giggles cure everything. Fact.
- You’ll find yourself mimicking someone high on LSD come slapstick comedian to hear those giggles one more time.
- There was a time I didn’t understand the need for Parent parking bays. But oh ,do I now? Godsend. They mean not having to resemble a contortionist while strapping your baby into the car seat!
- Mummy muscles are real. After all, you’ve spent ages perfecting your title as Queen of multitasking and your right arm has had a workout continuously as a result. Carrying your growing baby in one arm while using the other to do EVERYTHING else – care to arm wrestle? I dare you.
- People probably wouldn’t pay to see you perform at the Comedy Club, but to your baby, well you might as well be Michael McIntyre! Best. Audience. EVER.
- They don’t know when you’re having a bad day, or doing it all wrong but they love you anyway.
- Kiss goodbye to hot meals and long showers. Your baby will know instantly when you try to have one or both of these and cry before your fork hits the plate or you pick up your loofah! It’s a conspiracy, I swear.
- Your super happy smiley baby will play up when your friends come over, the in laws are around or you’re watching Suits and someone’s about to get Litt up! Thank god for Sky Plus. Pause, rewind, play. Wait, rewind again.
- Bath time for baby is a sting operation that involves a ridiculous amount of planning – (also one of the most fun). Bath time for you will be…I’m sorry bath? Don’t be ridiculous – see point one.
- Getting out of the house can sometimes be a mission Ethan Hunt couldn’t complete. Especially as your baby will undoubtedly need a feed or change just as you turn the key to lock up and put the alarm on.
- Shopping WAS my cardio! Remember those days when you could do a quick run around, take ages in a changing room, go up and down the escalators without a care in the world? No? Me either. Now, with a pram, changing bag, bundled up babe, the pace is slower! So it’s all about being efficient. Take the time to plan a route around the shopping centre including Parent Room feed/change breaks to avoid hours of going up and down lifts!
- Your iPod playlist will be taken over by nursery rhymes – yes Wheels on a bus is my new jam!
- Your living room will look like a bad Hamleys display no matter how many which ways you arrange it. Little people sure do come with a lot of stuff!
- Snuggles. My favourite time. They morph into koalas and I mean who doesn’t love koalas!?
- Get ready to be the most organised version of yourself. This starts even before the baby comes really thanks to nesting and good thing too. After they arrive, you can no longer wish time away. Productivity and efficiency is key – I haven’t mastered it yet and maybe I never will but Sophia has definitely kicked me into a better shape.
- Look forward to being the most positive you’ve ever been. They pick up on everything! Before Sophia, if things didn’t necessarily go as planned, I would wallow in my own self-pity. Now however, I find myself picking up, dusting off, being more positive and finding the silver lining in most clouds. And it feels good.
- Finally, despite being vomited on, pooed and weed on, woken up at some ungodly hour because its playtime according to Sophia, and not having had a break in 5 months, motherhood is still the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
For after all, your eeny meeny tiny human is rather perfect and utterly worth it.
So mums to be and new mums like me…Breathe. It’ll be ok.
We got this x (plus baby giggles cure everything!)