Pregnancy plays a few cruel jokes on us that are conveniently or perhaps kindly not mentioned to a mum-to-be by those much wiser. Bright eyed and bushy tailed a first time mama I was -and though by and large I had a pretty easy ride compared to some of my friends – being on the other side of fence now, I’m here to let you in on a few home truths.

I think its safe to say that most women will find themselves nodding in agreement to some if not of all of the following:

1. The tiredness, oh the tiredness! For once, you actually WANT to clean your house and get things ready, and yet your lack of energy makes getting off the sofa without help a feat in itself. Fail.
2. So much to remember; antenatal appointments, daily Pregnacare , vaccinations, what NOT to eat, packing a hospital bag, and of course the antenatal book!! Where has my photographic memory gone? I used to scoff at the notion of ‘Baby brain’ but it’s the real deal people!
3. Butter fingers and blurry eyes. So I thought I was losing my mind when I kept dropping my keys and almost tripping over nothing but nope, my new found clumsiness and overdue trip to Specsavers was thanks to my little bun! Super! Not like I have an incredibly precious bump to be mindful of or anything!
4. And then there’s the war between bladder and baby. Yes, baby wins. Everytime. And to make it worse, your capacity to hold anything more than a drop of water decreases whilst your thirst increases. Exponentially. Can I have some water please?
5. You can sleep all you want. Except that you can’t, hello insomnia, how are you doing? I can’t find a comfortable position because everything aches and my puppy has stolen my pregnancy pillow. Great.

Exhibit A – Westie pillow thief.

I’m sure there’s plenty more my baby brain has either kindly blocked out or stupidly forgotten. Either way, back up is needed to combat the above!

Arm yourself with the following:

1. Family. I cannot stress this enough. They kept me sane when I was going insane, happy when I was down and rode the rollercoaster with me in the front seat. Without a seatbelt. Thanks for reminding me to take my vitamins, NOT to eat the Camembert and to drink water, constantly.
2. Friends – new and old. When your mum says “in my day…(insert annoying but probably 100% right statement to do with pregnancy/nursery/work/anything at all)” and it literally drives you mad, you can always rely on your friends. Thanks for putting up with me and my nesting lists! You know who you are!
3. Your bad ass self – you can do this. Believe it, even at your lowest point. As the best midwives in the world (who obviously work at Broomfield Hospital) would say, “your body is designed to do this”. It is a different pace of course, but you can do this, slowly. And buy a notepad, it helps!

N.B. Bad news for friends and family – the above applies for post baby too!